Facebook Status: A big shout out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money!

Facebook Status: I’m a nobody. Nobody’s perfect. So I guess that makes me perfect.

Facebook Status: I only time I update my status is when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.

Facebook Status: LIKE this if you do weekly count downs to the weekend…

Facebook Status: A closed mouth is an open ear, the less you talk the more you hear.

Facebook Status: All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.