Facebook Status: I forgot to work out today. That’s five years in a row now!

Facebook Status: Birthdays are good for your health. Studies show those who have more birthdays live longer.

Facebook Status: Line-dancing was originally invented by people waiting in line for the bathroom.

Facebook Status: Phew! Thank you, warning label. I was actually considering using my toaster in the shower this morning.

Facebook Status: The older you are, the harder it is to lose weight, because your body and your fat have become good buddies.

Facebook Status: Time is precious. Waste it wisely.