Facebook Status Update: When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.

Facebook Status Update: Let’s observe a moment of silence for those who saw my post but didn’t like it.

Facebook Status Update: When you were little, “I’m going to tell your mom” was the scariest sentence ever.

Facebook Status Update: My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like the toaster.

Facebook Status Update: That awkward moment when you accidentally click on Internet Explorer & you have to wait for it to load so you can close it again.