Facebook Status: I tried being normal once. Most boring hour of my life.

Facebook Status: That moment when you try talking to someone you’re attracted to, and you say ‘GFBLQRINABAH’ instead of ‘I’m good, thanks!”

Facebook Status: I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Facebook Status: Back in five minutes. If not, read this status again.

Facebook Status: I wish I had ‘Google’ in my mind and ‘Antivirus’ in my heart.

Facebook Status: Amazing people like us don’t go to sleep, but sleep comes to us!