Facebook Status: It’s not economical to go to bed early to save candles if the results are twins.

Facebook Status: By the time someone realises that their parent was right, they have a child who thinks they’re wrong.

Facebook Status: Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

Facebook Status: Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed it.

Facebook Status: Bought some batteries for my children as gift and stuck a note on it saying: ‘Toys not included.’

Facebook Status: They say you only live once. If you live like I do, once is enough.