Facebook Status: Jack of all trades, master of none, though oftentimes better than master of one.

Facebook Status: I didn’t say it was your fault – I said I was blaming you.

Facebook Status: The longer the title, the less important the job.

Facebook Status: I am too young to be this old!

Facebook Status: Thanks to new alcoholic energy drinks, instead of the walk of shame, you can do the sprint of shame.

Facebook Status: Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.