Facebook Status: I’m never sure what to do with my eyes when I’m at the dentist. Do I close them? Do I stare at his face? Do I look at the ceiling?

Facebook Status: Be strong now, because things will get better. It might be stormy now, but it can’t rain forever.

Facebook Status: Despite all of the cruelty in the world, kindness persists. And I think for that, we should be thankful.

Facebook Status: Please cancel my subscription to your issues.

Facebook Status: If your partner cooks, you clean. It’s a relationship, not an employment contract.

Facebook Status: Trying to talk your partner out of a bad fashion choice is a fool’s game. Just accept this is what you signed up for.