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Facebook Status: I wish Facebook had a algorithm which would tag me in other people’s fights. I want to see all the drama.
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Facebook Status: One of my favourite pastimes is imagining politicians trying to get away with the same shenanigans in their mother’s home.
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Facebook Status: Imagine you had super powers. What would your one weakness would be?
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Facebook Status: Thanks to new alcoholic energy drinks, instead of the walk of shame, you can do the sprint of shame.
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Facebook Status: I’m never sure what to do with my eyes when I’m at the dentist. Do I close them? Do I stare at his face? Do I look at the ceiling?
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Facebook Status: People who have OnlyFans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?
