Facebook Status: That awkward moment when you pull your blankets up and punch yourself in the face.

Facebook Status: Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you’re finished.

Facebook Status: A bad attitude is like a flat tyre – you can’t go anywhere until you change it.

Facebook Status: Keep smiling – it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Facebook Status: I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

Facebook Status: I’m a nobody. Nobody’s perfect. So, I guess that makes me perfect.