Facebook Status: Nobody knows everything but everybody knows something.

Facebook Status: Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Johnny Cash. Now we have no Jobs, no Hope, and no Cash.

Facebook Status: A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Facebook Status: My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like the toaster.

Facebook Status: Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.

Facebook Status: Live your everyday of life like its the last day of your life.