Facebook Status: Adulting is basically just pretending you know what you’re doing until someone asks if you’re okay.

Facebook Status: Bought a self-help book three months ago. It’s still in the bag. I feel like that’s the universe telling me I’m fine.

Facebook Status: My love language is someone telling me to sit down while they make me a cup of tea without being asked.

Facebook Status: Five years of university, two degrees, seventeen years of work experience. Today I Googled how to spell ‘necessary.’

Facebook Status: I don’t need an alarm clock. My anxiety has me covered from about 3am onwards.

Facebook Status: Accidentally liked a photo from 2019 while stalking someone. Currently for sale: one phone, one identity, one life.