WhatsApp Status: My five love languages are: food, naps, cancelled plans, dogs and being told everything is going to be fine.

WhatsApp Status: Currently giving 100%. 40% tired. 30% hungry. 20% wondering what that noise was. 10% actual effort.

WhatsApp Status: I bring a lot to the table. Mostly snacks. But also emotional support and very strong opinions about nothing important.

WhatsApp Status: The only running I do is late. And I’m very consistent at it.

WhatsApp Status: I’m not a pessimist. I’m an optimist with extensive experience.

WhatsApp Status: Just used the word ‘whilst’ in a text. I don’t know who I’m becoming but they seem fancy.